Not Ready

Not Ready

1. I am not ready for Tyler to turn 3.
2. I am not ready for Jon to leave.
3. I am not ready to parent alone.
4. I am not ready for all the lonely nights.
5. I am not ready to for my cell phone to become a piece of me again.
6. I am not ready to go through a deployment again.
7. I am not ready for my husband to miss another of our son's first year.
8. I am not ready for making a meals just for Tyler and me.
9. I am not ready to miss holidays without having my family together.
10. I am not ready for the memories we will miss out on.
11. I am not ready for all the tears that are going to be shed.
12. I am not ready for Tyler to not be able to see his father for 10 months.
13. I am not ready for Walker to not be able to see his father for 10 months.
14. I am not ready for the hugs and kisses to stop.
15. I am just plain not ready!!!!!

Good news is I will put my big girl panties on and do it. I will take care of my kids and my home. I will take my cell phone with me every where I go including the bathroom praying I do not miss a call. We will keep on ticking as a family and tears will be shed but happy times will happen also. I have a camera and a video camera for all the first moments and fun things that happen. We also have Skype so that we can see each other on the computer. We will survive this and be closer when it is over. I will pray every night and all day that my husband will be protected and will come home to me and the kids one day.