Prayers Please

Long overdue update!

I have wanted to update all about my doctor's appointments but one I have been busy and then when I have time I get all weirded out by it. But I want you to know so you can all be praying for us.

Mid-August I was diagnosed with Ovarian Failure. This is probably for my PCOS but who knows. No matter what I have it and my new doctor felt that I could not get pregnant on clomid. I also found out that I have several antibodies causing blood clots and killing my eggs. Two are from my thyroid and one other one. I felt so discouraged at this appointment. Discourage with my body and how much is seemed to be failing me the older I got. I fought back tears the whole time the doctor was talking. He wanted to to start what he called Timed Intercourse. Basically I am doing everything you would do with IUI or IVF minus those actual procedures. After talking to the doctor we were taken to a conference room. I cried then dried it up and got ready to sign a TON of papers. I did not really know what I was getting into nor did I know that I wanted to do that.

The next week my extremely large box of medicines that had to be ordered from a special pharmacy arrived at my house and I started freaking out. Thank you God for giving me a amazing husband and mom who have sat through every crying & freaking out phone call. I went the next week for my med review and man o man did I feel better after that. With all the meds in that box I was thinking I was going to be getting a million shots a day and some of the needles in the box I was not about to let anyone near me with them. They really should have these meds mailed to them and let us pick them up at med review. After this we were just waiting on mother nature to run her course and my monthly friend to show up.

Monday, Sept 5th, 2011 life happened (finally). So Tuesday the 6th I went in and had my first ultrasound and blood work. Super uncomfortable but very much needed. Wednesday I started my first shots. I got Bravelle in one side of my belly and lovenox (a blood thinner) in the other side. The first night was not so bad. It took me 45 minutes to actually let Jon give me the shots. Thursday night the Bravelle burned but the other was not bad. Bruising from the blood thinner was already starting to show up. Friday morning back to Nashville for another ultrasound and blood work. The ultrasound was more than uncomfortable and put me in tears. Later that day I got a phone call (that I missed by accident) letting me know to move my meds up to 3 amps. I freaked because I did not know what amps where. I got all my paperwork and googled to find that the vials are called ampules or amps. I also found that I was supposed to be using 2 powders then pulling to .67cc's. I had totally missed these instructions and had been using 1 powder and pulling to .67cc's. I was not getting enough and freaked out. Friday I didn't know really what to do and felt overwhelmed and scared. I cried A LOT! I mixed the 3 powder's and pulled to .67cc's. Saturday I realized I was now suppose to be pulling the full 1cc of liquid. I took the 1 cc of 3 vials/amps Saturday and Sunday night.

Monday back Nashville for another ultrasound and blood work. Monday night I got a call that my estrogen was still not high enough and I had no follicles so they bumped me to 4 vials. I cried and cried because I was already afraid my body was not going to respond and all this was for nothing. I took the 4 powders to the 1 cc of liquid and cried tears and squeezed Jon's hand very tight. It burned bad! BAD! Tuesday night we did the 4 powders to the 1cc again and cried again. I was not sure I could do this anymore. It was very painful and very hard for Jon because he knew he could not make it not burn. Wednesday I went back to Nashville for ultrasound and blood work. This time I saw some follicles and watched her measuring them. I felt better. They called that night to let me know my estrogen looked great and had a few follicles but none mature but they did not expect me to have any that were mature. I got to go back to 3 powders to 1cc. It burned but nothing like that last 2 nights. I was thankful. Thursday I repeated the 3 powder's to 1cc. Friday I had a ultrasound and blood work again in Nashville. After my ultrasound I had to hang around for the doctor to review. I had one mature follicle and several that were very, very close. I did not want triggered early but I was told I was ready so I got my trigger shot. Friday and Saturday night I only had to take my blood thinner shirt.

Sunday night I started taking Delestrogen. These are the shots I had been dreading. You use a 18 gauge very large, long needle to withdraw medicine because it is very thick. The needle makes me cringe. After withdrawing the liquid you can switch to a 25 gauge needle but it is still long. I was not taking very much Delestrogen so it was not bad and I did not really feel it. Tuesday night I added the Progesterone in oil with the Delestrogen. So I now have 2.2cc's of liquid to receive. Tuesday night did not go so well. Jon gave me shot. To try and help me and to speed up he used both thumbs pushing which caused the needle to pull down and ripped my skin. I bleed a lot (thanks blood thinners). I started not long after the shot being in a lot of pain. Wednesday I was in a lot of pain most of the day. Also during the day I started taking Prometrium capsules 3 times a day. Wednesday night rolled around and I was not so excited about getting my shot. I took it like a big girl and we tried laying different, standing different, and Jon tried holding the needle different. It was much better. I would let him know if the needle felt like it was slicing me but the bad thing it was my fault because I was breathing so hard it was making the needle move. (It takes a very long time to push these meds in. It is not a quick shot at all.) Thursday morning I was sore but not as sore as the day before. I felt so much better. Thursday morning I started taking Endometrin 3 times a day. They are super fun to use, NOT! Tonight I laid down and got my shot after hiding for as long as I could from my hubs. The shot was worse than last night but still way better than two nights ago. I think my left side hurts worse than right side with all this.

Tomorrow morning I am driving to Nashville for blood work to check everything and make sure everything is doing what it is suppose to. I am also taking Gesticare Prenatals with DHA and Folbic besides my everyday meds I already take. My next visit after tomorrow is the following Friday for a Pregnancy test.

Please pray for our family. My hormones are nuts and I feel so much pressure and anxiety over this. I am resting that if this is God's will I will get pregnant when it is his time. I do not believe that I could go through this again. I praise God everyday for my pressure little boy he gave me and through this I have realize more and more of how much he is our little miracle baby.